I’ve been awake for long so now,
Just can’t get to sleep-
Thinking about the last time that I heard you speak,
How much longer we have, how much time that I’ve wasted
I always thought that this would be finite,
But the walls of my home are crumbling and
Now I can only watch it fall.
Grappling at something conceptual
Something unreal –
Is this how sadness really feels?
Not tears or wails but
A numbing ache deep in my chest,
Constant insomnia but unable to rest.
I wish I could cry, and maybe release
But I’m trapped in this structure
Of denial and retreat – It’ll hurt me harder later but
For now, I can breathe.
I’m sorry that I don’t know how to save you,
That I don’t have the strength to give
I gave up, but so did you-
Now every night I wish on each star that you live.
I’m losing you slowly,
Soon there’ll be nothing left –
You’ll be long gone before you’re dead,
And I’ll miss you.