World -Weary

The pain in my neck is just about equal to that of my chest;
Dull but devastating.
Never knowing if I’m numb and feeling nothing, or if I’m drowning in feeling everything-
Wave after wave editing me out of existence,
Nothing that loves can be infinite.
One hit of cynicism and I’m wasted – mouth ripped open, I’m hooked,
This bitterness tastes so sweet, or is it salty?
Walking off of the edges of non-replies, ignored texts and read receipts –
We both know I saw your words, but all I do now is hold down delete.
I’m sorry there are no apologies – I’m still avoiding doing that
I would rather drift away than face attack,
There’s just no fight in me left
I know I kept it unread –
But if I felt I could explain all this then I would have said, but I couldn’t.
Silence sounds better than sighing,
Ignoring is easier than replying
And living like this is so much harder than dying.

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