I miss what they might have been, what was not yet. I miss the smiles we never shared, the laugh I never heard, the way your eyes might have crinkled, and the colour your hair might have shone in the sun.
I miss the adventures we didn’t have, the late nights we never stayed up through
The stories we can’t make.
I miss what you didn’t say to me when I came home sad,
I miss that time you didn’t save me from myself
And when it wasn’t us against the world.
I miss you, but we only met for moment 19 years ago. When we both existed in the world it was a better place, but now I’m weeping because I can’t remember the exact details of your tiny face.
I hate that I’ll never know the colour of your eyes, whether you could have been taller than me, the people whose lives you could have changed.
Maybe that’s what was how it was supposed to be,
But I’ll never stop asking why you not me?